That is to say autism is a paradox. It both is and isn’t.
Is and isn’t what??? A gift? A curse? A blessing? “Gods’ punishment? A reaction to a drug? A drug processing abnormality? A genetic mystery? An inheritable disorder? Defined by a list of symptoms? A undefinable disease?
In my world. Autism is a developmental delay disorder not caused by any one definable cause. It has rendered my 7 year old trapped in a world I don’t understand, unable to process information in a standard form, unable to communicate, unable to undertake basic self care tasks. He is unaware of potential risks and has no ability to save himself.
But according to guidelines he is not “disabled, retarded or handicapped” He does not have intellectual impairment. He may or may not have cognitive reasoning, but he cannot be tested as he lacks the ability to follow directions.
So what the hell is he?????
He’s sure as hell not a cat in a box.
Besides everybody knows cats aren’t autistic.
They’re obsessive compulsive narcissists
The most comfortable label is appently ‘Special Needs”
What the hell does that mean????
All this blather about, “unique, special, awesome, miracle, precious, ‘Gods’ gift, an angel, perfect”. Yes ok lovely. I get it you really love your kid/s. Fantastic. And I mean that with all sincerity. too many humans in this world can’t stand their kids or beat them for not being perfect.
But lets get real here shall we. Why does just having autism make your kid any of those things? Do neurotypical kids achieve a place of adulation for merely breathing. Because lets face facts these labels that we attached to children with autism are doing just that.
Now don’t get me wrong. My kid rocks! THEY ALL DO. My 18 year old that’s proud of the fact he’s a gamer freak with an obsession for Mario. My 16 year old, the funniest sweetest metal head/gothboy I know. My 13 and 12 year olds whom I haven’t seen in 4 years but know I’ve never gone a day without thinking of them and missing them every moment. My most precious girl 10 years old, born of my heart and not my body and stuck living with a biological mother that treats her as an income but still laughs and smiles through the pain and hunger.
These guys are no more or less than their autistic brother somehow the paradox of life repeats a message that they ARE NOT special because they ARE NOT autistic.
But they all need the same thing. A mum and dad (or any variation thereof) that love them without pause, conditions, limits or definitions. Just love
What’s special about that?
If we are honest autism is a many faced beast. A label with no description except special
Here are my words for autism. Feel free to add your own
Annoying, hard, rewarding, a curse, a blessing, painful, humiliating, awe, confusion, joy, anger, love, hated, funny, frightening, stupid, breathtaking, tiring, exhausting, uplifting, messy, noisy, crazy, frustrating, silly, fun, embarrassing, isolating, rewarding, hurtful, prideful.
If I didn’t know any better I would think I was describing raising a child. Not raising an autistic child.
The paradox. I write this post because I have a child that I love without pause, conditions, limits or definitions
What’s special about that?